Chat, We're So Back

i don't want to say i've "given up on sobriety" but let's be realistic, that's not an incorrect description of what happened. i just don't like saying it that way. boo hoo.

i decided i liked the effects of weed more than i liked what i was like completely without it. i don't feel bad about it, but i do feel a little bad about not feeling bad.

i still of course respect addicts and people in recovery and people who have relapsed and everything like that. i don't consider this a relapse because i don't intend to stop again, except perhaps for random tolerance breaks. i view weed as a blessing in my life. i foresee myself continuing to smoke weed the same way i see myself continuing to take omeprozole1. life is just better for me if i do it.

because i allowed myself to go back to weed, i also opened myself up to some new job opportunities. i started searching for dispensary jobs on indeed.com and i found one that hired me for kitchen work. i help make weed gummies and weed chocolate and various other edibles. mostly gummies though. we make a LOT of gummies2.

this job is great. it's a relatively easy to do job. it's not that far away, a 30-40 min drive from where i live. and they give me discounts on weed at their dispensary store locations. the only downside is that the store locations are even farther from me than the "factory" location i work at, but it's worth it for the discount. i only go every couple of weeks anyway, so even though the drive is unpleasant it doesn't happen often enough to really complain about.

things have been alright lately. i've been sick for a little over a week now, which is annoying, but that's like the worst thing that's going on so i mean it's alright. not interfering with much, besides that first day i had fevers and i took off work to go to the doctor. they tested me for covid, flu, and strep, and it came back none of those. so who knows what it is. but it's hanging on a lot longer than i want it to.

i've been doing magic the gathering alters, mostly drawing rats on swamps. it's fun.

i want to use this blog more often. it's like a fun little place to put my thinky thoughts. but i might rename it. if you have any ideas for a new title, let me know on bsky.

omeprozole is an acid reduction medication, i take it because i have GERD. it makes my stomach acid not overproduce, but if i stop taking it the acid reflux can become even worse that it was prior to beginning the omeprozole. weed, to me, feels the same.

gummies are also my personal favorite type of edible. i think this is because they are so easy to dose. one or two, depending on the strength of each, is a perfect time for me. and since i'm already used to taking gummies as pseudo-medicine in the form of vitamins or melatonin, it's easy for me to take only one or two and walk away from the rest. i fear that with something like a chocolate bar, i would want to eat the entire chocolate bar, which is WAY too high of a dose for one sitting! i'm open minded though, i may try a chocolate bar one day. maybe dedicate a whole day to it and eat a little at a time.